By Samantha Gambino, PSYD
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sgambinopsyd@gmail.com | (917) 740 5803
A Time to Reflect
Spring is a season of rebirth, renewal, growth, and change.
We can now look back on the last two years and reflect on what we have learned.
Dealing with quarantine was a stressful experience for everyone, especially for parents who had to balance personal life, work, raising children, homeschooling, and social isolation. It is only normal that this situation made parents anxious and left them feeling like they had little to no control. And given all that was on parents’ plates, it is no surprise that their anxiety and frustration overflowed onto their children at different points in time.
Managing anxiety takes time, patience, and good strategies.
Strategies to Manage Anxiety
1- Slow Down
When you are in Go Mode, you are reacting to things. Slowing down gives you the chance to process situations, see the possibilities, and reflect on the best decision for you and your family. Responding to things means you are thoughtful about your decision instead of reacting in an impulsive, anxious way.
2- Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Feelings
It is normal to have complex and even conflicting thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge this for yourself. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and take the time to sort through the complications. This reflection time will help you manage anxiety as you are consistently monitoring yourself instead of allowing feelings to build up and then possibly overreacting because your emotions have not been processed.
3- Set Realistic Expectations
Having unrealistic expectations places a lot of pressure on people and usually leads to anxiety. For example, if you believe you can do 100% of things 100% of the time, you will feel tremendous stress and pressure.
4- Set Boundaries
Being over-committed and spread too thin causes anxiety. So, before committing to something, ask yourself if the event will leave you feeling stressed. If so, set boundaries around your time and level of involvement to mediate the stress it will cause you.
5- Take Time for You
Managing anxiety also involves looking at how you spend your time and your self- care routine. Time for you is a way to help you recharge, reflect, and check-in with yourself. Journaling is a great way to reflect on your thoughts and feelings.
6-Seek Professional Help
If you experience significant anxiety after trying these strategies, it may be time to reach out and seek professional help. Help is always available.
Un tiempo para reflexionar: estrategias para ayudar a los padres a manejar la ansiedad
La primavera es una estación de renacimiento, renovación, crecimiento y cambio. Ahora podemos mirar hacia atrás en los últimos dos años y reflexionar sobre lo que hemos aprendido.
Lidiar con la cuarentena fue una experiencia estresante para todos, especialmente para los padres que tuvieron que equilibrar la vida personal, el trabajo, la crianza de los hijos, la educación en el hogar y el aislamiento social. Es normal que dicha situación provocara nervios y los dejara con la sensación poco o ningún control. Dado todo lo que los padres debieron lidiar, no sorprende que su ansiedad y frustración se desbordaron sobre sus hijos en diferentes momentos.
Manejar la ansiedad requiere tiempo, paciencia y buenas estrategias.
Estrategias para manejar la ansiedad
1- Desacelera
Cuando estás en modo Go MODO ALERTA, estás reaccionando a las cosas. Disminuir la velocidad te da la oportunidad de procesar situaciones, ver las posibilidades y reflexionar sobre la mejor decisión con uno mismo y la familia. Responder a las cosas significa que estás pensando en tu decisión en lugar de reaccionar de manera impulsiva y ansiosa.
2- Reconoce tus pensamientos y sentimientos.
Es normal tener pensamientos y sentimientos complejos e incluso contradictorios. Reconoce esto por ti mismo. Presta atención a tus pensamientos y sentimientos y tómate el tiempo para resolver las complicaciones. Este tiempo de reflexión te ayudará a controlar la ansiedad, ya que te estás controlan-do a ti mismo constantemente en lugar de reaccionar de forma exagerada porque estás ansioso.
3- Establece expectativas realistas
Tener expectativas poco realistas conducirá a la ansiedad. Por ejemplo, si crees que puedes hacer el 100 % de las cosas el 100 % del tiempo, te sentirás demasiado estresado.
4- Establece límites
Estar demasiado comprometido y disperso causa ansiedad. Entonces, antes de comprometerte con algo, pregúntate si el compromiso agotará tu energía. Si es así, comprende que también puede causarte un estrés significativo.
5- Toma tiempo para ti
Controlar la ansiedad también implica administrar cómo pasar tu tiempo y tu rutina de cuidado person-al. El tiempo para ti es una forma de ayudarte a recargar, reflexionar y controlar tus niveles de an-siedad. El tiempo para ti puede incluir ejercicio, tiempo con amigos cercanos, comer sano, mantenerse hidratado y estar en la naturaleza.
6- Busca ayuda profesional
Si experimentas una ansiedad significativa después de probar estas estrategias, puede ser el momen-to de comunicarte y buscar ayuda profesional. La ayuda está siempre disponible.
Study: A recent study examined the relationship between parents’ stress and children’s psychological problems in families facing the Covid 19 outbreak in Italy. The results suggest that parents’ stress levels mediated quarantine’s impact on children’s behavioral and emotional issues.
Both the individual stress level of parents and the stress parents felt with their child negatively impacted children’s psychological health, with a more substantial effect from the latter. Parents who reported more difficulties in dealing with quarantine showed more stress. In addition, higher stress levels increased children’s psychological problems. Living in a more at-risk area, the quality of the home environment, or the relation the families had with the pandemic consequences, did not influence families’ well-being.
If we zoom out, there are two significant takeaways from this research. The first is that children of more anxious parents demonstrate greater emotional difficulty. Anxious parents may have less bandwidth for their children. Their anxiety may cause them to be less patient caretakers, irritable, over-reactive, and exhausted. The trickle-down effect causes children significant distress.
References: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01713/full